Sugar High

Two friends get together at Starbucks every Tuesday afternoon. They have coffee lattes and discuss current events. Their dialogue is mostly uninterrupted, fast paced and inclined to be superficial for both have jobs that require them to clock-in promptly after the lunch hour.

The one named Reno is very confident, often flamboyant and into pop culture. The other one, Dan, is conservative, his complexion sits on his face like fire rekindled from a blown-out match, and when maneuvering his Renault on a major interstate, he insists on driving right down the middle-of-the-road.

If we pulled a Bush administration ploy and eavesdropped on their conversation, we would hear:

Dan: "Ever get uptight? Tense?"

Reno: "No. I soothe the moves."

Dan: "You what?"

Reno: "Soothe the moves, man. You know, fudge the drudge, treat the wheat, jelly the belly, candy the dandy, sweet the sheet."

Dan: "Ah . . . does that mean you use sugar?"

Reno: "Does a bug shrug? Of course, I use sugar. That's what I've been telling you."

Dan: "Well, sugar prices are soaring. Candy makers are really scrounging around hunting for sugar."

Reno: "Why doesn't the man named Sam sluice the goose and loosen the sugar quotas? Import more from Brazil?"

Dan: "Gut Shabbes! Haven't you been paying attention? There's an energy crises. China's busy buying up the world's oil fields; Iran's developing nuclear energy, and Brazil's using it's sugar cane crops to make ethanol as fuel for their motor vehicles."

Reno: "Why don't we bop the blacktop to Louisiana and get their sugar cane crop?"

Dan: "The hurricanes destroyed it. Along with the refineries."

Reno: "Well then, let's feet the street and go get sugar beet, the best in the Midwest, lest we test the taste of sourdough, sourballs, pungent and vinegary. Egads! Coffee and no sugar to be had? We'll lose the booze and the whole east coast in one fell sugarless scoop."

Dan: "Yeah, well, weather wiped out the sugar beet crop, too. It won't be long before folks have to take out a second mortgage on their homes in order to buy just one Hershey's candy bar."

Reno: "I done told you when you voted for Bush, he'd push the country into mush, throw in some Hindu Kush and whoosh! America, once great, is suddenly squoosh. You can't sweet concrete from a deadbeat full of deceit."

Dan: "Well, what about you? You're the sugar freak."

Reno: "Don't worry about me. I'll get used to being uptight, outta sight and finger-lickin good."
Sugar High © 2006 Chaeli Lee Sullivan