Complex Cliché Computations

"Anyone who says their house is spick-and-span," says Dr. Whist Bowdlerizer, who is an authority on such matters, "is in the doghouse of interpretation."

In a personal survey whereby he scrutinized the results of 5000 polls, he found that 39% polled believed that spick-and-span referred to a mixed Puerto Rican and Black marriage; 87% heard only the first word and reacted with indignation at the racial slur; and 13% were unaware that house interiors could be spotlessly clean.

"Since folks blunder into these stupid misinterpretations with constant irregularity," Dr. Bowdlerizer said, "I am preparing a gazetteer which will detail regional dialectic speech impediments and how to adjust your clichés acccordingly."
Complex Cliché Computations © 2005 Chaeli Sullivan