Email Strategy

Now I believe in the power of emails. They're fast and usually receive instant replies. But from Mona Lisa?

Sure, she has a room of her own and generally receives 1500 visitors an hour, six days a week. But really, expecting her to answer emails is a bit too much.

I mean that lady is busy ! She hardly has time to do her nails and hair before the hoards descend and she has to entertain The Fifteen Hundred. Her script writer must work overtime to keep that many folks entertained. In an eight-hour day that's twelve thousand people!

One thing I've noticed about our M. Lisa: she never changes her clothes! Wears the same old rags day in, day out. Yet folks keep a-coming. The fashion designers must be biting their nails wondering how she does it.

You sure can tell her security guards are not up to snuff, though. They don't screen the audience nearly as well as President Bush's security team does. I mean imagine this: her security forces give everybody an audience. Even pickpockets. Heck, a Democrat can't even get into one of President Bush's public meetings. Can you imagine a pickpocket's chances? He'd be whisked off to Guantánamo Bay before he had a chance to say: "I am an American."

As if old fashion hospitality and receiving 12,000 folks a day, isn't enough to consume M. Lisa's busy schedule, she sells 330,000 items a year. Bet she sits up nights, in that regal posture of hers, dreaming up new strategies to discuss with her marketing team. Eat your heart out Martha Stewart. Mona has made her fortune with post cards, magnets and puzzles. No color coordinated sheets for her!

Still, like most famous stars, Mona receives mail. At least, one missal a week, if not more. The lady was born somewhere between the years of 1503 and 1507. By my calculations that makes her roughly 500 years old.

Imagine how much news and gossip she's been privy to in that amount of time! Now you know how little old ladies love to write letters and share all their wisdom, but I'm not at all sure Mona's hep about new technology and emails. So take my advice. If you want the full benefit of her 500 years of experience, send her a letter instead.

Oh, and make sure you enclose a self-addressed, stamped envelope, otherwise you might just get one of her postcards in reply.
Email Strategy © 2005 Chaeli Sullivan