Shopping Spree

Unlike the average woman, I don't spend much money on shoes. There's only 37 pair stacked vertically along the north bedroom wall.

Nor do I spend much on clothing, though recently when I hired a subcontractor to extend the closet walls, he said: "Mrs. S, we've enlarged your closet three times this year. You sure you wouldn't rather just use your spare room as a closet? Or you could have a yard sale . . . ."

And I don't invest a lot in chocolates. Two boxes of Little Debbie's cakes will last me nearly a whole day.

But when it comes to bookstores, I can give an automated teller machine heart palpitations. I've never understood people who can walk out of a bookstore empty-handed.

There are so many choices! The average bookstore boasts 20, 000 CATEGORIES, with rows upon rows of publications. I ought-a warn you though, when you go searching for a first edition Elzevir, bring your own ladder so you can reach the books on the top shelves.

Just the titles alone encourage you to drop books in the cart without undue inspection. Who could pass up: "States for Sale, Cheap!", "Dead or Alive, Turkeys Can Fowl Up Your Life", and "The Art of Wine Snobbery"?

You meet the most interesting people in bookstores. Just today, in the Psychic Development section, I met this empty-suit who was so fascinated with the written word that he stood there writing his own posthumous novel. You'd never meet anyone like that at the Super Bowl.

I thought I should offer some reasonable explanation for why Part II of "Cash Or No Cigar" is not forthcoming tonight. My back went out while I was lugging the ladder and all those books home this afternoon, so I'm going to take it easy, put my feet up and read for a while.

And, oh yes, call and get the subcontractor back to work on that closet enlargement because the spare room is now a library.
Shopping Spree © 2005 Chaeli Sullivan