Crow Or Bloody Fowl?

It sure was swell of Vice President Cheney to fess up. Made my day, him sitting there on Fox News all pious and soft-spoken as he calmly told us: those few moments when he watched his friend fall were the "worst day of his life".

Reminds me of the time, Mom and Aunt Nan took Gram and me out to a highfalutin restaurant. Spit-and-polished, all git-upped in our fancy clothes, we were, with Gram wearing her mink stole.

Now, manners was a big item in our family and children were typically seen and not heard, so I'm sure the audio transmission of my chicken order was muted.

Aunt Nan may have raised an eyebrow when it was delivered but we all got on with Blessing and prepared to eat.

Ceptin' you can't pick up the whole thing and cram it in your mouth. A saw-toothed knife and a fork come in handy, at times like these, to separate the gristle from the meat.

Darn, that joint was tough. Stabbed, chopped and sawed that bloody fowl; still, I couldn't separate the shank from its underpinnings.

Now, at eight-years-old, I was a mere child when this bird incident took place. But, how well I remember the next few minutes as the "worst day of my life".

Musta looked over my shoulder as I applied extra pressure to the joint, cause suddenly, I heard a loud snap as the bone broke and when I looked back thems chicken pieces and all that lovely orange sauce piled on top had spattered Gram, front and center, besmirching the mink stole and the silk dress, with a wee bit stuck to her chin.

Sailed clear across the table, that chicken did, to clobber my Gram and it happened so fast a whistle didn't have time to flush up a covey of quail.

Eating crow is a heck of a poor substitute when you're expectin' poultry of a tastier nature.

Yep. Those few moments, when I was eight-years-old, were the "worst day of my life", but sure now, and didn't I learn . . . If your venue includes menus which boast of their birds, forego the fowl and have a shot at the sole. Or lobster, if you prefer it.
Crow Or Bloody Fowl © 2006 Chaeli Lee Sullivan