Optically Speaking

Ever hear the saying: Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder? Well, I don't know about that, but humor sure is.

There can be a room full of people who will laugh themselves silly over a humorous quip you've just brilliantly executed; then, there's THAT ONE who never cracks a smile.

If you are a consummate actor, you sidle up to this dense character thinking a bit of "explanation" will clarify the wee subtleties and start his endorphins pumping.

As you get closer, the first thing you notice is: he smells like sulpher. You can almost taste the brimstone on your tongue and you suspect rotten eggs would taste better.

His peepers, frozen in a permanent lake of gefilte, add starch to your spine as he looks at a point directly behind your left ear.

It's time to cringe and run, yet your thoughts have a mind of their own. ' Be a darn shame if he missed a good joke.'

So you persist.

Save yourself some frustration. This threepiece-suit is never going to laugh, and there's a reason why . . . .

His eyes are defective.

That's right. The composition of his eyes is incomplete.

More than likely, he has the usual stuff: cornea, retina, pupil, lens and optic nerve. But his eye is missing one of the more important parts.

Vitreous Humor.

I suspect it's a condition similar to color blindness but much more serious.

This particular type of eye problem is often acerbated by an accompanying impairment: The Swollen-Blind-Spot-Syndrome.

Yep. Both Vitreous Humor and Blind Spots are actual components of the Inner Eye.

So, like I said, next time you smell Brimstone in the air, save yourself some frustration. Have a list of several ophthalmologists ready and hand it to the humorless fellow.

You'll be doing him a favor.

With his Vitreous Humor restored and his Swollen-Blind-Spot-Syndrome reduced, it's quite possible that, soon, he'll be able to enjoy subtle humor without the annoyance of all those lengthy "explanations".

And who knows, perhaps, he'll be able to behold beauty, too.
Optically Speaking © 2005 Chaeli Lee Sullivan